Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
The First Choice - page 7 by BlumeShullman The First Choice - page 7 by BlumeShullman
Japan Flag by DekuVX Japanese Sense of Reading! Japan Flag by DekuVX

Plot: Finally! He said it!!! I'm so proud!!! It's only now that the story actually begins, and it took me one year an a half to get there! XD Obviously this page was very important for the plot and for me, so I really wanted it to be as polished as possible.

Technique:Gosh, I feel like this page is my masterpiece! I have finally found a way to do my lights and shadows that I like. I'm not so convinced by the softness of colored lineart, though? It looks okay, but I like black lineart... we'll see if I keep it soft or not in the future.

First:The First Choice - Cover
Previous: The First Choice - page 6
Next: in progress...


Heart All your comments are appreciated! I can't wait to read what you think!Heart
Add a Comment:
 
:iconjemgirl:
This is your most polished looking page to date. It is something to be proud of. I wasn't sure what you meant by color lines. But then I looked up and saw it mostly on the faces. So I'm sorry if I missed other examples.

I think it works. Personally. I'm also used to the black outline, so either will work for me.

The colours are good, shapes are defined and the layout is cleanly done. The first panel with the leaves is interesting done. But they don't share the same treatment of anything else out of focus on the page.

In fact, I think that is my only 'complaint'.

Well ... There is the missing path to the bench in the back, but all in all, very well done. :)
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

Please sign up or login to post a critique.

:icondatponyindacorner:
datponyindacorner Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh you go shark son!
Reply
:iconblumeshullman:
BlumeShullman Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Rin is amazing. He's so intense^^
Reply
:icondatponyindacorner:
datponyindacorner Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Truuu
Lets hope he remains calm in this situation eh?
Reply
:iconblumeshullman:
BlumeShullman Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Calm? Rin? You have such high hopes...
Reply
:icondatponyindacorner:
datponyindacorner Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, who am I kidding? XD
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Went back to check last page before commenting here. :)

Firstly, thank you for continuing the comic. :hug:

Secondly, I personally think there could have been another page between this and the last one. My sense of flow. How far did they walk? He didn't look like he was taking him anywhere at the end of the last page. So on and so forth. 

Ok, for this page... well I guess I should put this bit in the actual critique. :)
Reply
:iconblumeshullman:
BlumeShullman Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
yeah, the flow isn't ideal. Clearly I'm cutting out lots of things, because evrything takes so much time for me that I'm trying to make it more 'to-the-point' than would be comfortable. But hopefully, when I feel more confident and work faster, I'll improve this.
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
On the other side of the coin... Because you do take so long to getting a page out, shouldn't we get the whole story instead of being 'cheated' out of bits? :)

Just saying.... :hands in the air:
Reply
:iconblumeshullman:
BlumeShullman Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2016  Professional Digital Artist
Well, the "missing footage" here isn't very interesting: they are just walking, Makoto is following Rin and they don't talk. But I could have added a little box saying"a few moments later" or something of that sort.
Reply
:iconjemgirl:
jemgirl Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Perhaps. :) 
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×



Details

Submitted on
October 24, 2016
Image Size
4.2 MB
Resolution
2064×3168
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
309 (1 today)
Favourites
7 (who?)
Comments
10
Downloads
0
×