So you think I'm going to talk about poeple having affairs or engaging in the worst activities in the dark, when no one knows? That's basically the idea that comes to mind when you hear the word "secret".
Let me clarify the term: a secret you tell is no longer a secret but a confidence. A secret is a thought you've had, or something you've done, that no one knows about. And because when we do something wrong, we aren't too keen to say it at loud, it often becomes a secret. This fact tends to makes us think that the very fact to have secrets is wrong, and means we "have something to hide".
We need to step away from that idea. We always assume the worse when someone doesn't want to answer a question. Instead, we should question ourselves:Is it right to ask? Is it my business? Why do I want to know?
And remember this: I don't owe poeple the story of my life.
Poeple don't owe me the story of their life.
Whenever you assume someone is guilty of something
or hurt by something
, remember that YOU don't always want to talk, and it doesn't mean you're either of the above. Nor that you're shy
, btw. You just don't want to talk about whatever they're asking you about, you don't see the point, or you think it's none of their business. Always remember that "poeple" are no different than "you". The rules that apply to one apply to the other.
So it's just a message, a reminder, because a lot of poeple are intrusive and try and steal bits of our privacy. You know what I'm talking about. You've all met overly curious poeple. Just keep that in mind when making conversation: don't become this rude person you don't like. When someone says no, don't insist. If they want to talk, they have to man up and tell. It's not your job to steal spicy gossips from them. We're all adults and responsible of what we say.
I thought I would give you examples of questions we are sometimes asked and you are in no way obligated to answer them:
1) Are you okay?
2) Why did you repeat the year/changed class/orientation
3) They said you were ill. What did you have?
4) Are you virgin/single/gay/trans/ top/ bottom?
5) Are your parents married?
6) Who will you vote for?
7) Why don't you like him/her?
8) What are you thinking about?You don't want to answer these questions because you feel like answering them could be misleading, cause it would make poeple feel like you and the concepts linked to that typical answer are identical.
<---Long sentence, but read it again, it's quite clever.
Please comment, and give other examples or/and anecdotes of this kind of situation. What did you answer? How did you protect your priviacy, and kept your dear secrets?